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This is the story of Jasper’s life as a premature baby on the NICU.

Week 1

After the birth Jasper was taken to the hospital’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) whose reputation for excellence extends across Europe.

He was not able to breath on his own at birth, and had to be resuscitated in the delivery room.  He was respirated via an oscillating ventilator, however, his heart and lungs were surprisingly strong for a 24 weeker and he soon showed signs of wanted to breathe on his own.

When we first saw Jasper, as well as the ventilator, he had a small tube going down to his stomach to let air escape and for feeding when he reached that stage.  He also had a line into an artery in his arm which was used to measure blood pressure and heart rate and provide a painless method for taking blood.  There was a line through his umbilical cord to be used to give drugs and blood transfusions and a line in his other arm also for giving drugs and blood transfusions.  There were various other monitors to measure temperature and blood oxygen saturation. 

Jasper was tiny.  He weighed only 1½ lb and was around 12 inches long.  His head was a little smaller than the size of a tennis ball; his hands were a little over half an inch in width and almost 1½  inches from his wrist to the tip of his fingers (he had long fingers), and his toes were about the size of grains of rice.  His eyes were still fused shut just like a kitten’s.  (see picture) 

We were told that Jasper only had a one in three chance of survival.  I couldn’t face the thought of having to register his birth and death at the same time so we went to register his birth at the earliest opportunity.  We were very proud to give him his full name - Jasper Izaak (after his great grandfather) Peter (after his dad) Lockett (his real surname, even though he took his mum’s surname, Russell in accordance with hospital regulations because Mum and Dad aren’t married).  Registering the birth made us feel he’d officially arrived in the world. 

The first few days went very well and Jasper was stable.  We were relieved that he’d made it through the first 48 hours.  That felt like a significant milestone.  On the 4^th day, his blood pressure dropped.  We spent 48 hours expecting to lose him while the doctors tried worked their way through a shopping list of drugs to save him.  Eventually his BP stabilised and  we could breathe again! 

It appeared that Jasper’s kidney’s were not functioning as well as they should although the damage appeared to have arisen in the womb and not as a result of the low BP.  He also had some extra valves in his bladder which were preventing him passing urine, so he was catheterised.

Like many babies, Jasper was slightly jaundiced and so had to undergo phototherapy.  A machine was placed on top of the incubator which projected a special light over him.  During this time his eyes were protected with a tiny mask. 

At 24 weeks gestation, there is no fat under the skin and the skin itself is only a single cell in thickness making it very fragile and susceptible to damage.  Jasper’s skin was easily broken and this together with all the essential lines meant that he was exceedingly vulnerable to infection. 

The following pages are exactly as written at the time. 

He is also being given insulin because his blood sugar levels are low (probably partly due to the fluid intake / output).

Jasper also started doses of caffeine today in anticipation of him changing to a less intrusive ventilation method shortly.

Tuesday 30th January 2001

His arterial line packed up today which means both hands are free of tubes for the first time, but he'll probably have another in soon.

He's lost quite a bit of weight over the week and is now down to 512gms, however, this is to be expected and doctors are not concerned.

Wednesday 31st January 2001

His blood sugar levels are still high so he is still on insulin.  However, his BP seems to have settled this morning following continual doses of hydrocortisone, dobutamine and dopamine.

He is also starting to produce urine which indicates that his kidneys are starting to recover.  His bilirubin levels are back to normal so he is off phototherapy.

His weight has remained static despite his first poo (and you know how excited parents get about that!!!).

The doctors expect that '24 weekers' are likely to get a brain hemorrhage at some stage.  These seem to be categorised small, medium or large.  Jasper has developed a medium one which although isn't life threatening, needs to be kept an eye on.  It could just melt away, or it could cause future complications that have been anticipated.

His breathing and heart rate continue to be good, but the other conditions are making it difficult for him. 

Thanks you to all who continue to send emails and who are thinking positive thoughts for him, it touches our hearts very deeply.   Thank you also to the fantastic efforts of the medical and support teams; your work, effort, care and humanity is not being un-noticed.

Thursday 1st February 2001

Jasper managed to jinx his incubator so the nurses had to transfer him to another one. This meant dad could have him on his lap for a few minutes (see picture). Jasper also lost his umbilical line so we’ve seen his belly button for the first time. As well as his belly button we’ve also discovered he has hair (presently black) and he likes to suck his ventilation tube. We’ve been able to help with his care regime and lifting him to weigh and for x-rays etc.

Friday 2nd February 2001

His weight has dropped, now at around 550gm which is causing a little concern, but he is now receiving some intravenous nutrition which should help this.

His BP appears to be stable and he is now off dobutamine, whilst also being weaned off dopamine.

So, if you're directing positive thoughts.... aim them at the kidney repair and development.......

Thank you all for your emails and calls, sorry if we haven't replied personally yet.  They are all really much appreciated and it means so much to us to get them, just to know you guys are out there rooting for us all.

He had a good night, with his BP remaining stable. His urine output is still too high but his electrolyte levels (e.g. sodium potassium etc.) are returning to normal, which shows that his kidneys are starting to function more efficiently.

His weight is still fluctuating (616gms yesterday, 580gms today) so the doctors continue to keep a close eye on his fluid levels and management.

His heart and lungs are still good, so much so that he's been switched off the oscillating ventilator and on to a conventional system which allows his to breathe himself if he chooses to.

A head scan showed that his brain haemorrhage has not spread into his brain tissue and is thankfully showing signs of dispersing.   However, he still not free from further hemorrhage, especially if his BP increases.   Keep those positive thoughts going...

His BP remains stable, and his electrolyte, blood sugar and urine levels are returning to normal.  Hence he is no longer on insulin or any drugs for his BP, just some antibiotics to ward off infection and morphine to help him rest.   The brain haemorrhage continues to disperse.

He had his first real feed today - half a mil of milk.  He continues to have intravenous nutrition (TPN made up to his prescription) but starting him on milk via a stomach tube will help get his gut used to receiving food.   

His weight is back up to 550gms and his morphine has been switched off completely at the moment.  His colour continues to develop from his initial 'lobster' shade to a more normal tan.

Finally, we were able to hold him again today. He seems to like his "escape" times and is very calm. We can also hear him make very tiny baby noises when he's out of the incubator.

He is continuing to receive milk - now at half a mill every 2 hours, and Jasper came out for another cuddle today, which was very nice.

Thanks for your emails and calls of encouragement, they are greatly appreciated. Please feel free to contact us about visiting if you'd like to. We aren't shielding him from the world and even if the worst comes to the worst, we want to have been able to share our happiness and pride in our son. We have to be realistic about his chances of survival, the doctors have said that there is still a long way to go and that he remains very high risk. At the start, he was given a 33% chance, this may have increased a little but not much I'm afraid. We have to be strong and this is why we appreciated the thoughts of all our family and friends behind us. Thanks you again for your thoughts so far, keep them coming...

He continues to cope well with receiving breast milk via a tube and is now on 1.5ml every two hours.

He certainly seems to be a fighter, and the excellent treatment with TLC he is getting from the medical team is giving him the best chance he has, a MASSIVE thank you for what you are all doing.

Jasper kindly gave his Mum a birthday card today containing some fantastic photos - what a fab present, truly fantastic...

He is stable though his long line has closed up and has had to be removed.  This is not surprising since it has been in for around 2 weeks and is only a very tiny tube (about as thick as a single toothbrush bristle). 

The medical team have tried to put in another line but Jasper's platelet count it low causing him to bleed very heavily.  To help him recover he will have a blood transfusion and a platelet transfusion later today. 

Jasper continues to take his feeds well and is now up to 5ml every 2 hours, increasing by 1ml every 12. 

He is stable though his long line has closed up and has had to be removed.  This is not surprising since it has been in for around 2 weeks and is only a very tiny tube (about as thick as a single toothbrush bristle). 

The medical team have tried to put in another line but Jasper's platelet count it low causing him to bleed very heavily.  To help him recover he will have a blood transfusion and a platelet transfusion later today. 

Jasper continues to take his feeds well and is now up to 5ml every 2 hours, increasing by 1ml every 12. 

The medical team are helping him fight this with antibodies, anti-fungal drugs, diuretics and fluid control.

The infection is also impairing his respiration and he's back on the oscillating ventillator.  He continues to breathe but this means he is fighting against the ventilator and as a consequence, his oxygen intake reduces.   To stop him doing this he has been given a muscle relaxant.

Just keep those positive thoughts going... 

We had shared some fantastic time loving him and holding him and when we put him back in the incubator he decided it was time to go.

His kidneys had not worked since Tuesday evening so he had not been able to get rid of any waste products.  One of the things the body needs to get rid of is potassium which will stop the heart if too high in concentration.   We were told about this in the morning and so were able to prepare ourselves and to have a great day holding Jasper, loving him and cuddling him.  We had some really special time with him during the day.  In his last hour he was very alert (though not in any pain) and was looking at us as we held him.  His heart slowed when we put him back in the incubator so we removed all the monitors, drips and breathing tube and we carried him to a quiet room.  He died very quickly in his dad's arms. 

Afterwards, we were able to enjoy some peaceful and special time bathing him and dressing him. 

Jasper is now in the Chapel of Rest at Southmead Hospital.  We will put funeral details on the site later.  No flowers please, donations to the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit.  (cheques payable to North Bristol NHS Trust, please write NICU on the reverse and put a note with it so they know its in Jasper's name.)  See Jasper's Fund for details of how much was collected and what it was spent on.

Thank you to all of you for your thoughts for Jasper over the last few weeks.  Please continue to keep in touch with us.  We know you may find this difficult but please don't avoid us (including those of you who are expecting or have babies).  Jasper was very precious to us and we need to talk about him.  We may get upset but this helps us treasure the time we had with him.

Thank you to everyone at Southmead who looked after Jasper.  He had the best possible care and as parents we felt very well supported.  Very special thanks to nurses, Pat, Clare E, Karen, Gill, Alison, Lisa, Jeanne, Jude, Jeanette, Chris, both Helens, Joan, Carla,  Jeanne, Marion, and doctors, Sarah, Bharati and Lindsay and also to everyone else who had to work extra hard so that Jasper could have the one to one care he needed.   Go to A Time of Peace for the rest of Jasper's story.